Lenalein, ich komme wieder zurück.

I have just finished reading “What Happened To You?”, the incredible book on trauma by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey.

There is nothing in the book that I have not read or heard about before.

I was lucky enough to attend an online conference with Dr Perry just over a year ago and listened to him talking about his work and many of the themes of the book for a couple of hours. At that time I was working in a role with Care Experienced Children and as part of a project to raise awareness and knowledge around the impact of trauma in Scotland. I had somehow managed to become something of a “name” in this field in Scotland, as an educator with a passion for sharing this knowledge as well as lived experience of trauma.

I absolutely loved that webinar and hung on Dr Perry’s every word. I found that his phenomenal scientific knowledge, combined with his kind, human and honest way of presenting appealed to every fibre of my being.

He became my new guru and I was thrilled beyond belief when he responded to my tweets a few times.

When this book came out, I bought it straight away and intended to read it as soon as I could.

But then I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I needed to take a step back and protect myself because the world that had, after several years of starting to look safer, began to feel very unsafe again.

The last year has been about survival. I have had to revert to my old protective strategies of dissociating, disconnecting and allowing the voices that tell me that the world is an unsafe and scary place to drive me.

I can see the harm that this has done to me and my physical and mental health. I can see what it has done to my relationships with my loved ones.

Whilst the twitter followers and invitations to speak about wellbeing and recovery have continued to increase, the pain, emptiness, loneliness and feelings of not wanting to be here have also.

I need to rewind.

I need to pick up from where I was after I read The Body Keeps The Score and started EMDR.


I need to stop people pleasing and do the work again.

What Happened To You is an incredible book and it is the best explanation of how we can save people’s lives and the future of humanity that you will read.

There are so many parts that I could quote and so many highlights that I have made while reading.

But for me, right now, this is the one that I am clinging on to for dear life:

“Dr Perry: Exactly. It really is never too late. Healing is possible. The key is knowing where to start the process. And matching the developmental needs of the person.”

Page 283. What Happened To You, Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D and Oprah Winfrey.

Lenalein, ich komme wieder zurück.

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