Tired

It’s New Year’s Day and I’m tired.

I have tried several times to write a piece about the New Year..hopes..dreams..advice…. but is has alluded me. I used to be so good at writing blog posts. If I look back, I can see endless posts, words and ideas and it genuinely surprises me that my brain was so flexible and alert back then.

I feel old too. At 53, I know I’m not, really, but there is a weariness in me.

There are lots of possible causes for these feelings. The pandemic. The menopause. My job as a Head Teacher. The state of the world.

But actually I don’t think the real cause is any of them. The real cause is that I am UTTERLY RUBBISH at resting because I have ADHD! The physical hyperactivity that is part of my ADHD means that I struggle to sit still for long or be physically “unproductive” and the mental hyperactivity part means that I struggle to switch off from thinking, trying to problem solve and being mentally “productive”.

In possibly the most enlightening video that I have seen to date on ADHD, Dr Russell Barkley states that the most problematic part of ADHD relates to the disconnect in the brain between knowing and doing….”I don’t care what you know, you won’t use it.” https://youtu.be/_tpB-B8BXk0

So rather than sit here on the sofa and try to come up with “advice” or pearls of wisdom that will somehow enable me…or you…to make 2023 the year that is full of energy, optimism and joy, I’m going to give up, give in and put myself through the torture of inactivity and unproductivity for a while.

It is certainly the torture of the entitled and privileged, I know….but a necessary one, I think, if, I am to serve the world better in the longer term and make the most of the skills and qualities with which I have been blessed and which need me not to be running on empty all the time.

Over and out for now, then…

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