Yesterday I had a day where I felt bad: physically, mentally and relationally. This is quite common on a Saturday when I have had a busy week at work and been in situations where I haven’t been able to stop functioning at a high level of energy and focus. The problem is that when I feel bad, there’s not much to be done about it. Where others might take a duvet day, my ADHD brain beats me up for even contemplating that and shouts at me about all the things I HAVEN’T done.
Luckily yesterday a marvellous and life saving friend reminded me of that and helped me get through it.
Anyway, I have written a poem, to balance the one I wrote yesterday when I was in the middle of it.
When I’m feeling bad
There’s little I can do
To be the one I’d rather be
The one whom lovely you
Picked out to call your friend
The one we like and love
But when I’m feeling bad
That’s how it is.
When I’m feeling bad
And sad and cross and tired
Everything I do
And say and feel is mired
In dark and tears and bleakness
And feeling all is lost
But when I’m feeling bad
That’s how it is.
When I’m feeling bad
I try and try and try
To shift it
To coach it
To look for reasons why
To stop my badness hurting you
In cross words, tone or sighs.
But when I’m feeling bad
That’s how it is.
Yesterday I felt bad
Here today I don’t
A change that is quite baffling to see.
The same sun didn’t warm me
The same hug didn’t soothe
And nothing helped me want to try or be.
And stuck in yesterday
I couldn’t see beyond
Or know that, as for kings
This too would pass.
But pass it did and now
I live in hope again
Of sunny skies
And sides of greener grass.
So next time
-And there will be-
(Though Pollyanna likes
To think that maybe, if I try
There won’t)
Please quietly remind me
And don’t let me forget
That when I’m feeling bad
That’s how it is.
lenabellina 