My Apologies*

* (as in giving my…but not sorry because I know I did the right thing..)

To my lovely WomenEdScotland friends,

I am so sorry that I had to miss our get together today. I would not have missed it if I could have been there…but in the end I had to admit that I couldn’t.

If you have heard me talk at any events over the last months about teacher wellbeing, you will have heard me say, over and over, that we must not force schools to act as if things are back to normal, as we are still in a pandemic.

The truth has hit me hard this week when, less than two weeks into my new post as a DHT, I caught COVID, along with my son and husband.

Being double vaccinated and reading those (impossible for my brain to ignore) words “work from home if you can”, all the good advice I would have given to others went out of the window and I shrugged off my mild symptoms and proceeded to do my usual 7am to 6pm day working day…all at a screen. How lucky we are that tech now enables us to do this…..

And then yesterday, I began to feel the toll. Dizziness, a massive headache and the lowest mood I have experienced in quite some time all set in. (My husband and I have have a theory about COVID, based on our entirely unscientific research and sample size of two, which is that the evil little virus targets your weak spots; thus his back and my mood…)

And this on top of the other “mild” symptoms of a sore throat, mild temperature, aching limbs, no taste or smell and little appetite.

So today, I have given in. I need to rest and accept that I have a virus that isn’t, for me, just like a mild cold.

It is hard to do that. My ADHD brain hates it. My low mood hates it because it wants me to keep busy and not feel. And the part of me that wants to impress my new colleagues and could have benefited from a WomenEdScotland session on imposter syndrome.

But I have to remember that I am in this for the long haul and that if I don’t rest when I’m ill, I am taking a big risk with my wellbeing.

It is tough knowing that me not being in school is creating pressures for others. It is tough knowing that the classes I had started to teach will be wondering where on earth I’ve gone again after just two weeks.

But I need to make sure that I use the time now to get better and return to school back to full health when I am able.

Friends, we are still in a global pandemic. Please, let’s all be kind to ourselves and try and give ourselves the same advice as we would give one another.


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